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And You Wonder Why The Apartment Isn’t Renting… | Indignant Online
Indignant Online

And You Wonder Why The Apartment Isn’t Renting…

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Chicago isn’t known for its attentive landlords, especially if you’re not in an “engineer on premises” building with a doorman and all the fancy bells and whistles.  There’s a saying: “if nothing breaks while you’re on the lease, it’s a fine apartment.”  That saying holds true. I’ve been having an odd experience with my soon-to-be former landlord that is absolute comedy if I look at it from a detached viewpoint.

On November 2, the building brought a contractor in to measure the windows for building.  I don’t know about the rest of the building, but in my apartment the front windows have about an inch-long arc they bounce back and forth in when the wind picks up.  As for my bathroom window, I guess it was in worse shape that I realized.  The sides of the window had been painted over and when the contractor tried to open it, he ended up breaking the bottom of the frame into several pieces.

Now you’d think you’d want to fix a broken window before winter set in.  And I’d have to say you were thinking like a rational human being and such things do not apply here.

After a day or two, I managed to get building management to put some plastic over the window.  Of course plastic doesn’t hold over a window in a Chicago winter.   In January, I got a call asking about things wrong with the apartment and fishing for an extremely early lease renewal.  I mentioned that maybe they might want to fix the window.

As January dragged on into February, the maintenance man gave be a song and dance about them not being able to order the right part.  (My neighbor across the hall says he’s heard that excuse when he’s wanted something fixed.)  But as soon as they wanted to start showing the apartment to renters and I mentioned that they might not want to show it with a broken window, that’s when they decided to fix it.  So on February 24, I finally got a new window.  That’s a handful of days short of 4 months to fix a broken window.  And through the winter.

But that’s just where the comedy starts.  This is a bathroom window and it’s located in the middle of my shower.  You’d think you’d want to frost a window situated in the shower, so as not to be giving a free show.  I don’t know how expensive frosting a window is, but my dear building management opted to put stickers on the window instead.  I wasn’t sure how opaque these stickers were and they were immediately starting to peel off.

Of course, as I was assessing this situation, a representative of building management showed up.  You know the stereotypical angry gay waiter from a 70s sit-com?  That’s what showed up.  Oh, he wasn’t thin enough or well dressed enough, but he was certainly that pissy.  I pointed out the stickers were sticking and what did I get?

“So the service was alright?” he said, wanting badly to write “yes” on his little clipboard.

“It took four months to replace a window.”

“So the service was alright?”

“It took four months to replace a window.”

He didn’t ask me a third time, and he didn’t do anything about the stickers, for a week later, around a quarter of the lower sticker had peeled off the window.  Even better, on the outside where I couldn’t really get at it without removing the window, which I wasn’t inclined to do.

My Peeling Window - Or - A Bathroom With a View

My Peeling Window - Or - A Bathroom With a View

A week later I got a call from building management around the time I discovered this and described the problem.  He said he’d send somebody out Monday (it was a Friday).  This cracked me up, as they were supposed to be having an open house over the weekend and showing the place.

Actually, I was getting amusement out of people coming to a dead stop when they saw the bathroom.

Did they send somebody out to fix it?  Of course not.  Not even people from the management office seeing it with their own eyes was enough to trigger a repair visit.

It’s now been 8 days since the last complaint and they’re having the second weekend of showing the apartment.

And they wonder why this apartment isn’t getting rented.  Maybe they just haven’t found the right exhibitionist?

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